Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

Archive for November, 2008

November 22, 2008

I got creative on Saturday instead of napping.

I, as usual, stayed up late last night. Friday and Saturday night, I’m lucky if I go to bed before 3 a.m. Why? I’ve always been a night owl, ever since I can remember, so why stop now? I figure I can catch up on my sleep WHEN. I’M. DEAD.

I have been ordering photos for family back east to send in Christmas cards and wanted some new ones of my daughter since I had quite a few recent ones of my three boys. Plus, photographing my daughter is just so fun – not that my boys aren’t a hoot, but seriously, they usually hate getting their picture taken and let me know it, every single time. My girl, well, she’s like me – loves dressing up, getting her hair all prettified, nails done, the works you know? So we played dress up and went to town, took about 150 shots and settled on about 20 that I was happy with. Initially, I was going to have a nap, but like I said, dead = sleep.

In other news, my children made up words today. They decided they wanted their very own language and I suppose a way to make fun of me without me actually knowing it. Damn they’re smart.

I bought the new Nickelback cd Dark Horse and I love it, it’s my favorite yet. Yes, I still have the hots for Chad. Call me sick, but I don’t care. I have a thing for dirty rockers. Well, only two (Kid Rock is my other obsession) and technically, I hope they’re not dirty – because if I were to ‘hit it’, ‘it’ had better be clean. Squeaky clean. Yes, I know, you’re thanking me for the 411. Glad to help.

A man came to my door today with a beautiful little girl – she was about 4. All decked out in a long dress coat with faux fur on the collar and cuffs – she was just precious. He was here to promote whatever religion he was selling but I wasn’t buying. I’m sorry, sell me Girl Guide cookies at my front door but religion? I hate that. I’m guessing he thought by bringing his child, people are more apt to open their front door and listen to what he has to say. Like people are dumb. Okay, some people are dumb. Trust me, I’ve shopped enough at my grocery store to know that there are some of us on the planet who are a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

I would love to have some chocolate right about now. However, all I have here that resembles something yummy, is semi-sweet chocolate chips which, um, do nothing for me. I could get in my SUV and drive to the store, which is 30 seconds from my house, where they do sell all kinds of chocolate bars, bags of cookies, hell, probably even have a cake there too, but that would require me getting off my ass and that’s just asking too much at almost 9 p.m. Plus, my ass is probably saying, ‘bitch please, do not eat more chocolate, I’ll cut you’. Mouthy friggin’ ass.

Did I tell you it snowed here the other day? What the hell? Sure, it’s not like it’s a surprise, we get some out here in Cowtown every year but I hate it. How much hassle would it be to move to Florida? Maybe Karl would let me bunk with him? I do want to go to Florida for a visit though. We have friends in Miami and I’ve always wanted to go. It looks so pretty there – at least on CSI Miami it does. And we all know TV shows are real. Like super real. Plus, I could meet Horatio Cane. I don’t know what it is about that guy, but he gets to me. He’s not even attractive – well not in a Brad Pitt sort of way – but seriously, I think I have the hots for David Caruso. I’m sick. But really, I know a certain someone who has an ‘old man’ crush on Grisham – won’t mention any names – but she knows who she is. She’s just as sick as me. Ha.

I wanted to get more Christmas shopping done today but that would have meant I’d have to drag my kids with me and let’s see, take two children to a busy, packed mall with other crazy mothers dragging their kids out to the mall just didn’t seem like it would be a fun time. I’m about 75% done anyway – and it’s all wrapped (sick AND anal). My goal is usually to have it done by November 30th. I’ve done that the last two years and it’s great. I still remember the days of having zero money until December 23 – and hubby and I rushing out at the last minute to shop for our kids. That was fun.

I bought a new black bra. Uh, that’s about it, nothing more to say on that. It fits like a glove – or a bra. Whichever.

I want a new cell phone for Christmas. I was hoping to get one for my birthday, but let’s see, I DIDN’T. I’m still waiting for a birthday present from my husband. HINT. Maybe he’ll read this. HINT. When was my birthday? In July. Four months ago. As in, it’s a bit past belated. Perhaps he’s going to make up for it at Christmas. I’d like a touch screen phone – maybe I’ll just come with you when you buy it. The phone I have now was fantastic THREE YEARS AGO. And my favorite thing about it? It usually says ‘NO SERVICE’ just about everywhere I go. Very dependable.

If you have a few minutes, you have to read my post (at work) about Rihanna pregnancy rumors with Chris Brown – sure my post is fantastic *cough* but it’s the comments that are truly hilarious. Seriously, most of them are hatin’ on Rihanna because ‘she gotz wit ma boyfrend and mad a baby and I beez hatin’ her, dirty skank!’ See? Fun! Click HERE if you’re bored. Some people take their celebrity gossip super serious. Hey, ‘whatever floats yer boat’ is what I always say. Actually, I always say, ‘send me cash – nothing less than 20s please’ but so far, no one has sent any dough. What up with that?

Okay, I must go put my daughter to bed before she turns into Nasty McNasty from McNastyville. Check the photos below from our fun photo shoot (click pics to enlarge) and I’ll be back soon to tell you the top five reasons I should stop shopping – and answering my phone.

Posted by Sassy @ 11:27 pmGlamourous,Just Stuff.,Kids6 comments  

November 20, 2008

I bought a mack daddy fridge and then things went to hell.

I’m sometimes an impulsive person, especially when it comes to ‘things.’ I get something in my head and then you can’t persuade me to change my mind – perhaps some would call that stubborn, I call it cute.

I like my kitchen, it’s not bad, however, definitely will be upgrading it at some point, but not right now. But, my fridge was driving me nuts. The appliances are black, which hey, look nice, way better than white ones (hate white appliances) but my fridge seemed so small. It’s a standard size but the way the inside was laid out, just did not work. I decided that I would go look at new fridges. I’ve always wanted stainless steel, so I went to take a gander. I had no intentions of buying a fridge at this point, but would look to see what was available.

I drove over to Future Shop, which is less than five minutes from my home and since I had an hour to kill before I had to pick kids up, that would give me enough time to browse and get some idea of what I wanted when I was ready to buy.

I’m looking around and a nice sales lady comes over and I tell her that I’m just looking but that I want to eventually buy a stainless steel fridge. She shows me a few and then I spot one that has a sticker on it, reading ‘open box.’ What does that mean exactly? Well, it means there’s no box for that fridge. Oh and it’s just about $1200 discounted. I get excited – it was a mack daddy, super duper french door fridge with the freezer drawer on the bottom. And huge. Like really huge. I tell the sales lady that I really like that one but I’m not sure if it would fit where my fridge is now, although I was working with an extra 6 inches on the side and about 5 inches on the top – it was the depth of the fridge that I was most concerned about.

Sales lady gets a tape measure and gives me the dimensions and I tell her that I’m going to dash home to measure my, uh, hole. Yes, I said it like that and when the words were out of my mouth, I realized it sounded a bit rude, so I added, ‘where my fridge is,’ but by then, it was a bit too late. Anyway, I’m assuming she knew what I meant.

I drive home, measure the hole and am sad because the fridge at the store was 34 inches deep and I could really only go about 32 inches deep, so my heart dropped a little bit because I’d not be able to get that sweet, awesome mack daddy of all daddy fridges. I head back to the store and tell the sales lady that it’s just going to be too big – then she brought rainbows and unicorns back into my life by telling me that she forgot to say that the depth also included the handles – meaning, the fridge wasn’t 34 inches deep but actually 32 and the handles made up the other 2 inches. Well hells bells, I could get it! I told her the space was 36 inches wide and since the fridge was 35 1/2 inches, she said it would work perfectly! And we had 2 inches on height. I was so excited and so happy that I was finally going to have a huge fridge for a pretty cheap price and I’d be one appliance closer to having all stainless steel in my kitchen. Okay, so that was my first and I have 3 more to go, but still – closer.

I call my husband to tell him I bought it. He was less than thrilled. He and my oldest were going away for a few days and would be getting ready to leave that night, so why would I pick that particular day to purchase a new fridge? Well, because it was an open box deal, cheap and a top of the line fridge and since there was only one in the store, someone could snatch it up and then I’d be upset and probably eat ice cream, whine and cry for 5 days, so really, in the long run, it was the best possible decision I could make. I mean really, we live 5 minutes from Future Shop and how long could it possibly take to go pick it up, put it on the truck and then bring it home? I’m thinking 20 minutes tops. Hardly put a dent in hubby’s getting ready to go away time. Ha.

Hubster arrives home around 6 pm-ish and I hand him the receipt and tell him and son to go pick up the fridge. I, in the meantime, take everything out of the old fridge, clean it out and move it into the living room. I’m so excited – I mean, serisouly, this was a huge deal for me. They arrive back about 25 minutes later (I’m thinking, why didn’t it take 5 mins like I thought?), and my son runs in the house, hoping I’d not already cleaned out the other fridge because really, they had no idea how they’d even get it off the truck. The thing weighed 350 pounds. What? I thought maybe 150 tops, but nope, I was wrong. What I had envisioned in my mind – the whole process taking 20 minutes – was not panning out quite like I had hoped. It took the three of us about 30 minutes just to get it off the truck or rather, to figure a way to get it off the truck. It took four men to put it on the truck, so it was going to take four to get it off the truck. And seeing as there were only 2 men and me, the odds of us being successful weren’t good.

I came up with the idea of using hubby’s quad ramps and sliding it down – that would have been good in theory but the ramps are much like a ladder with rungs, so the fridge wheels would just get caught up in them. But then we decided to put a piece of plywood on the ramp and we somehow wrangled the fridge onto the plywood and slide it down off of the truck. Success! Now, how to get it in the house? Can’t take it through the garage since the door going into the house was only 32 inches wide and we need at least 36. Well, front door it is:

Mind you, we have to squeeze it around the corner from the driveway to the walkway, and get it up two steps twice but hey, no biggie right? Sure. After about another half hour of struggling to do all that (oh and it’s dark out too and cold), we finally get it to the front door. But guess what? It’s too wide to fit through the front door. By this time, my son and husband are less than impressed with me. They’re supposed to be getting ready for their trip and yet, they’ve just spent almost two hours with trying to do the whole fridge thing. Did I mention they were less than impressed? Ya.

So, I ask if we can take the front door off – sure, let’s make it an even bigger project, why not? Son, takes front door off and guess what? The freakin’ fridge fits through! Now we’re cookin’! My son and I wheel it around to the living room, through the dining room and into the kitchen (yay for open floor plans!) and he and I push it into the hole. Space. Whatever. (Yes, I’m 12). And this sounds good in theory, but technically we couldn’t push it into the hole. BECAUSE. IT. DIDN’T. FIT. Uh, my husband is now killing me with his eyes and I’m swearing up and down that I measured like three times and I know it’s got to fit because I measured THREE.TIMES. However, the fridge wasn’t 35 1/2 inches like lady said, it was actually 35 3/4 and the space is 36 inches, but should still fit right? Except I didn’t account for the baseboard in the space.

Now I’m being murdered by both hubby’s and son’s eyes – I was covered in daggers piercing through my heart. I was not their favorite person at that moment. What now? Can’t take the fridge back, can’t just not use it. Hubby rips the baseboard off to make room. Okay, fine, I mean once the fridge is in there, you can’t even see that there’s supposed to be baseboard so no big fucking deal. Husband and son push the fridge in and although it took a minute or two, they did it! Mind you, it’s not coming out of there until we renovate the kitchen and we’ll most likely have to actually take the wall down to move the fridge but seriously, how much work could that be?

Now, I’m excited to put all of my food in the new fridge! Here’s where two issues arose – # 1 – can’t open the left door on the fridge. Oh why? Because although we got it in the space, it’s such a tight fit and since there’s the door way into the laundry room that has trim around it, ya, the door can’t open. Uh, oh. # 2 issue – can’t open the freezer drawer AT.ALL. because of the door trim. How do we solve this? Well husband has to uh, cut, uh the door trim off:

That doesn’t look that bad right? But look at the fridge (I hadn’t cleaned it yet, so ignore the finger prints – remember, husband and son had to jam it into the space? Ya.) isn’t it gorgeous? It’s that brushed steel that I just really love. Sure, the rest of my appliances are still black and will be for a while, but really, who the hell sees my kitchen? Hardly anyone. But I can fit all of my groceries in it! And then some. I swear it looks like I have no food because I have so much room. And the freezer is huge too with shelving and compartments. Love it. Sure, there’s no trim on that part of the wall by the door, but who is going to notice? My husband notices, but he’ll get over it.

And while it looks a bit goofy to have one stainless appliance the rest black, it’s not the worse thing in the world. Having a dog shit in your soup would be way worse. See? Always find the silver lining.

You’re probably wondering where the black fridge went. There’s nothing wrong with it – just a bit on the small side, so we’re obviously keeping it and where did we put it? Didn’t you know that having a fridge in your living room is so the rage right now? No? Well let me be the first to tell you:

It matches my living room furniture. I’m assuming it’ll go downstairs to the basement – whenever my husband wants to be done punishing me. Ha.

Posted by Sassy @ 12:42 pmEmbarrassing,House Hoopla,I want to Punch You in the Neck6 comments  






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