Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

Archive for June, 2009

June 21, 2009

Jon and Kate are renewing their vows!!!!!!!!!!

jon-kate-wedding-fb
Jon and Kate Gosselin are divorcing! Jon and Kate aren’t divorcing! Jon and Kate are going to couple’s therapy! No, wait, Jon and Kate are renewing their wedding vows!

I don’t know what the big announcement will be on Monday’s Jon & Kate Plus 8, (OMG Y’all, I’m soooo excited!) but there are a few things that perhaps we’ve overlooked since we are all convinced it must be D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

Here are the top ten other possibilities:

1. Toys R Us will be stocking their shelves with the new Kate Gosselin “Barbie” doll. She will come with hand sanitizer, perfectly manicured nails, have a tan, a clipboard full of ‘to do’ lists, a slight scowl, and of course have Kate’s signature coiffure.

2. Jon found his balls and wants to C.E….L.E…B.R.A.T.E. good times, come on!

3. Mady and Cara are fed up with the sextuplets getting all of the attention and have decided to strike.

4. Kate is pregnant but Jon isn’t the baby daddy. And no, it’s not Kate’s bodyguard either. They’ll spend at least 12 episodes trying to figure out who the father is (hint: could be Emeril Lagasse).

5. Jon found his balls (see # 2) but Kate stomped on them but good and they’ll permanently hang on the hook beside the door. FOREVER. Don’t even think about taking those off the hook, buddy. She’ll cut you.

6. Jon begs “American Chopper” dudes to adopt him and he’ll clean their shop for free, every.single.day. if they never tell Kate where he is. They hide Jon in Mikey’s facial hair. He’s never seen again.

7. Kate agrees to let Jon continue to see 23-year-old women, but he has to make sure it doesn’t conflict with her tanning and nail sessions, because one of them must be home with the children while the other is out.

8. Jon and Kate have decided to invite the Duggars over for a barbecue.

9. Kate is going to give Octomom her hairstylist’s name and number.

10. Kate has written a book titled “How To Ruin Your Marriage In 15 Easy Episodes Of Reality TV.” Jon also wrote a book called “How To Lose Your Balls In 8 Easy Episodes & Pick Up Hot Twenty-Three Year Olds In 12.”

Seriously, I do want a happy ending. Ha, who am I kidding? No, really, I do. Honestly. Stop making me laugh, dammit. I do, I really, really do.

Posted by Sassy @ 10:36 pmJust Stuff.,Television Drivel4 comments  

June 17, 2009

Tag team vomiting! Squeeeee….!!!

vomit

Yes, you have seen that photo before. You are seeing it again because I’ve had the pleasure of cleaning up vomit since both my youngest son and daughter, were violently ill.

They woke early Monday morning, as in 4:00 a.m., spewing things no person should ever have to see, smell, clean up, try to forget about. I’m quite certain there are worse things in this life to have to deal with, however, when one is in the midst of a vomit storm, one does not care what others may or may not be dealing with.

barfmadison1

I was able to go back to sleep for about an hour or so because my husband got up and dealt with the bulk (bad choice of word) of the situation but once he left for work, my day consisted of trying to sit on my ass to work but having very little success.

BarfRyan

My children proceeded to tag team vomit ALL. DAY. LONG. and I know I’m probably sharing too much with you, but hey, that’s what friends do. SHARE.

They are both much better now, thank you. I’m hoping beyond hope that I do not get what they had, because let me tell you (ya, I just did), it was not pretty. And not for the faint of heart.

Posted by Sassy @ 9:12 pmKidsNo comments  






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