Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!
Daughter is 9, going on 15. And a smartass.

August 27, 2009


My youngest child is nine, yet she totally acts like she’s 15.  I’m not sure where she gets her sassy attitude and smartass mouth from, but some days, she’s a handful.

She started grade four today and also a new school and I figured she would be nervous.  I mean, I used to get nervous on my first day of school, even when I had been at the same school for years.

Are you nervous? I asked her last night.

Get a life, mother. I’m too intelligent to get nervous.

Oh, well, I used to get nervous on my first day.  Especially if I was starting a new school, you know, new people, and all that.  And?  I’m not too shabby in the smarts department, so that really has nothing to do with if a person gets nervous or not.

Uh huh.  She yawns.

She slept like a rock, I,on the other hand, did not.  Not that I slept well as it is, but add some anxiety and I’m tossing and turning for sure.  Actually, daughter slept so heavily, that it took me almost 20 minutes to drag her pretend-teenager butt out of bed this morning.

You really have to get up, like now.  Really?  Ten minutes ago would have been ideal.  I don’t want to be late, your first day and all.

Mother, we won’t be late.  I just need five more minutes.

I cave and give her the five more minutes and she finally saunters downstairs.

Hey, good morning.  Are you totally nervous?

We had this conversation last night, mom.  Hello?  Gah.

Did you just ‘gah’ me?

Yep.  Where are my new clothes?

I’m shocked.  You have ‘grrr’d’ and now you’ve ‘gah’d’ me. Um, yeah, clothes.  On the chair.  Are you sure you’re OK?


OK, just checking.

We leave with 25 minutes to spare, so I’m starting to relax, that is, until we are on our way and my child drops a bombshell on me.



Um, you’re not going to kiss me, are you?

When?  Ever?  What do you mean?

I mean today.  Like at the school.  Please.  Mom.  Do not kiss me.

Why can’t I kiss you?

Um, hello?  I’m nine.

Yes, exactly.  You’re NINE.

Right.  And I’m starting a new school and going to be making friends, so I don’t need my mom getting all mushy and stuff.

Mushy and stuff?  It’s a kiss.  From your mother.

If you don’t promise not to kiss me, I won’t even let you walk with me to the doors.

I have to promise not to kiss my own child?

Yes.  Promise me.  Like promise, mom.

OK. Fine.  I promise I won’t kiss you.

Say today.  I promise I won’t kiss you today, on your first day or any other day that you drop me off or pick me up.

Hey now, that wasn’t part of the deal.


Fine.  No kissing at school.

And no crying either.  Like not one bit, mother.

I won’t cry.  I’m past crying.

Yeah, right.

No, I haven’t cried since you went to Kindergarten.

Uh huh.

We get to the school, and I make sure I walk 10 paces behind her.  Heaven forbid any of her potential friends see her with her mother.

We eventually find the designated spot for grade four students and her demands do not end.

You should probably go sit over there with the other students.

Mom, said in a hushed, evil whisper.

What?  I’m just sayin’.

Don’t just say.  Like, really, you don’t need to stay.  I’m fine.

But it’s your first day, I should be here, wait for them to call your name to go to your class.

OMG mom.  I’m not a baby.

I know, but you’re my baby.

OMG. If you start crying, I’m pretending I don’t know you.

Just then, one of the teachers spoke up and thanked all of the parents still waiting, but basically kicked our asses out, to which my child displayed a very clear visible sign of relief splash across her face.

I turn to her, was almost set to break my promise to kiss her, but she had already moved to sit with the other students.  I smiled and waved and? Yeah, she rolled her eyes.

Fiesty little spitfire with a smart mouth and big attitude.  I think someone else birthed her, certainly couldn’t have ben me.  I am so no like that.  At all.

Posted by Sassy @ 5:52 pmKids6 comments  

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6 Responses to “Daughter is 9, going on 15. And a smartass.”

  1. LMBO….Sooo not like her mother oh no.

  2. Honestly… that’s not me chortling with laughter behind my hands. Nope, not at all.

    I go through the same thing on Sept 8th. Aren’t daughters fun?

  3. Nope,not like me at all. ;)
    .-= Sassy´s last blog ..Daughter is 9, going on 15. And a smartass. =-.

  4. Well Sassy, you should not start crying, or else she’ll pretend she don’t know you! What a smart girl of the 21st century :D
    .-= Hicham´s last blog ..Library Cats =-.

  5. LOL Hicham, I know, I know. Too smart, that girl of mine!

  6. Even though, at nine, she’s already too old for this book, you totally need to get her “Sloppy Kisses” – great book about/for kids who think they’re too old or cool to get parental kisses in front of the gang. :-)

    Hope it all went well!
    .-= gurukarm (@karma_musings)´s last blog ..City of Refuge =-.

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