Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

Archive for June, 2010

June 5, 2010

I hate you.  Here’s why:

Because you’re stupid.  You flooded our house with your dumbassness.  When water is leaking from a tap that is on, TURN IT OFF.  Do not wrap many feet of electrical tape around the WET , LEAKING TAP/HOSE.  Electrical tape is for NOT FIXING WATER LEAKS.  Also, when water is leaking, tell someone.  Like, um, YOUR LANDLORD.  Do not let water leak for a month and then say, “oh by the way…”.  This makes me hate you.

Because you didn’t look.  You apparently believe you are the only person on the road.  You smashed into my suv and caused damage.  Luckily my fist didn’t smash into your face.  I like how you pretended to not speak English yet you chanted FUCK many times and surprisingly, you, all of a sudden, learned English at the police station.  Cute.

Because you suck at your job.  Thanks for following up AFTER we’ve already taken care of the issue.  You know, WE did YOUR job. Thanks for telling me you were on vacation and forgot to take care of us before you left.  I feel like a special client.  My advice for you?  Go shit in your hand.

Because you stole $800 from us.  Which, yes, thank you because we’re rich and all.  We don’t have two mortgages to swallow or children to feed, so feel free to take what we’ve worked for.  Much appreciated.  Oh, I hope you drop the soap while showering in jail.

Because you tell me your life story every single time I go through your checkout lane.  And you whine about the meat leaking, which I didn’t see any leaks but thank you for telling me that it was leaking and asking if I needed a paper towel to wash the leaky meat juices from my hands, which? there was no leaky meat juices on my hand, but whatever.  And?  A dry paper towel is not going to properly sanitize my hand should there actually be leaky meat juices on it, but it’s the thought that counts, right?  Sure.  Please.  Stop.  Talking.  To.  Me.  I don’t care that you’re wearing a fellow employee’s uniform because you forgot yours.  Don’t. Care.

Because you’re clearly INSANE.  We don’t owe you money, fucktard.  But, hey, if you think we do, SUE US.  There are judges.  There are courts.  That’s how normal, reasonable people try to get money (that they delusionally think is owed) – they sue for it.  Take us to court.  Pounding on windows and doors, making threats and screaming that you “want your fucking money,” is not how sane people go about things.  Oh, gosh, let me whip out my cheque book and write you a cheque for the money THAT WE DON’T OWE YOU.  You’re an artard.  You’re a few turds short of a shit pile.  And to think that you’ve stewed over this imaginary owe you money thing for TWO YEARS, is hilarious.  How about you move on?  Get a life.  Get a job.  Get a brain.  But most of all?  FUCK THE FUCK OFF.

Because you blow chunks as a CEO.  Your professionalism is… wait, you have NONE.  You have no balls and are spineless.  You spread lies to suit your needs, which hey, if that’s how you run a company, then so be it.  I don’t see you moving up the ladder of success.  Oh, and your face looks like a can of smashed assholes.  Just sayin’.

Because your hidden “fees” are highway robbery and yet we can’t get out of the contract without paying MORE money.  It’s awesome how your customer service, uh, DOESN’T EXIST.  It’s like you’re a legitimate, legal thief who has the right to take, take, take but never give back.  Thanks.  A lot.

And that concludes my short rant.  I swear, rainbows and butterflies are now taking up most of my dining room.  Yay!

Posted by Sassy @ 6:25 pmI want to Punch You in the Neck,Just Stuff.2 comments  






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