October 15, 2005
Last night we went to Rotten Ronnie’s at Walmart. We ate our meals then afterwards, MissIHaveASweetToothLikeMyFather said she wanted a smartie McMurry (she sometimes says McFlurry but last night she reverted back to McMurry), so Matthew and I and Maddy go up and order our treats.
Anthony is sitting at the table talking to a stranger. Not a creepy stranger, a nice looking person, friendly.
Anyway, again I digress. Soooooooo that leaves Ryan. Everyone is preoccupied and that gives Mr B an opportunity to find something fun to do. He heads over to the condiments table. Salt, pepper, napkins etc. OH and KETCHUP. It’s not in little packets anymore. Nope. They have a pump dispenser and little thimble sized dixie style cups to put the ketchup in. Ya.
Matt and Maddy go back over to the table and I’m still standing at the counter waiting for our GOING RIGHT TO YOUR ASS sweet treats. I turn around and see Anthony making a weird face to the stranger. And Matt’s mouth is hanging open. Maddy is saying OMG Ryan. I don’t see Ryan. So that only means one thing. He’s done SOMETHING.
I resist the urge to run over there and start freaking, about what, I’m not sure yet. I know it’s something though. I swear, I should have called Ryan, Dennis. As in DENNIS THE MENACE. I finally get our icecream and head over. Matt comes over all in a panic. “DID YOU SEE WHAT DENNIS RYAN, DID”?????
No, I didn’t but I’m about to. This is the part where it turns to slow motion. I wonder why that happens? To prepare you mentally for the crime scene you’re about to witness? I’m guessing, yes.
I turn to the left, turn towards the condiments table……and I see it. THE BIG RED BLOB. THE GI-NORMOUS RED BLOB….. OF KETCHUP. It’s like a ketchup murder scene. There’s so much ketchup, you can’t see the counter. There’s been a ketchup crime committed and I know where to find the suspect. He’s now standing by our table. Jumping all around like he won the lottery. I see customers staring at the crime scene, looking around, trying to locate the perpetrator. I can’t take my eyes off the red blob. It’s huge. You could swim in that ketchup, there’s so much. I turn to look at my little vandal and his eyes are sparkling. He’s smiling like it’s Christmas and he just got the biggest, baddest present EVER.
I go over and since there’s a stranger still yaking to hubby, I can’t really freak like I want to. I smile and say, “What did you do Ryan”? “What mom? Nothing”. Nothing????????????? Hmmm, many tomatoes died for that ketchup and all you can say is NOTHING”? He just smiles. That big, melt your heart smile, eyes all squinted up and freckles dancing. He’s sooooooo lucky the stranger was still standing there, talking to Anthony. And strangers wife was there now too, so wow, no can do the freaky deaky freak on your kid’s freakin’ head. I pitty the poor Mickey D employee that had to clean that mess up.
