Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

Archive for the 'Ring-a-ding..wrong number AGAIN' Category

October 27, 2007

I killed Barney?

Don’t panic kids, I don’t think I really killed Barney, however, if you looked inside my washer you may have a different opinion about that:

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Seems washing a fluffy, fuzzy, furry rug is not recommended because your washer will tear the shit out of it. It did come out of the dryer looking relatively nice. It was at least clean.

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It’s Saturday afternoon and I’m absolutely not dressed looking so stylish, Vogue will probably be calling any minute now. I have cleaned my house, ran the dishwasher, talked to a friend (who I’m worried about…she called me the President of worry…sweet huh?), fed my kids, gave the cat 90 seconds of undivided attention, made beds, put laundry away and have given serious thought to making cookies. You know, because we all need bigger asses. Right now, it’s just an idea I’m rolling around in my head and it does require some effort, and quite frankly I’m not sure I have any effort to give today. I’m tired. Whiney I know.

I laughed at my husband last night because as we were all out at one of our favourite restaurants torturing the waitress having a nice meal, his cell phone rang. It was however, a wrong number unbeknownst to us for the 10 seconds he was on it. I hear, “Hello? Oh. No, okay, sure, thank you!” I ask him who’s calling him at 8pm on a Friday night on his business number?

Oh it was a wrong number.

Oh. Then why did you thank the person like they had just given you money or want a job done?

I always thank people who call and it’s a wrong number.

Oh. Umm. Why?

I’m not entirely sure.

Oh. crazy much?

I suppose, maybe that one day one of those wrong numbers could possibly turn into a potential customer, so hey, why not thank them for being so dumb, dialing a wrong number? Like who does that? I’ve never dialed the wrong number. Now my fingers have, those lazy bitches, not watching what they’re doing, but not me personally. See how that works? I’m on the ball at all times. Sharp.

‘Member how I was telling you about my new Crockpot/slowcooker? If you don’t, scroll down, it’s somewhere on here but I’m too lazy to go find the damn post and link it. It ain’t that far back. As I was saying, I’ve now cooked 3 meals in that thing and my family is happy that the cramps and vomiting have now stopped from my past cooking ‘incidents’. See how nicely life works out? Ya. Speaking of food, I must go eat something other than vodka apples. Have a great weekend and all that jazz.

Posted by Sassy @ 2:47 pmJust Stuff.,Ring-a-ding..wrong number AGAIN2 comments  

August 6, 2007

Wrong number..drunk style?

We went for a drive in the country yesterday. And nothing adds to that experience like getting a wrong number on your cell phone from a seemingly drunk womanm with a gaggle of other drunk women in the backgroun.

Hello?

Hi! What are you wearing?

What am I wearing?

Ya.

Ummm a pair of jeans and white tee shirt.

Oh, how about a wet tee shirt?

Ah, well, no it’s not wet, just white.

Oh darn! How are you?

I’m fine, how are you?

Great! Whattya doing?

Just out for a drive in the country.

Why?

I dunno, something to do.

Are you coming over?

Ah, who is this?

You don’t know who this is?

Not really.

Really? You don’t know who this is? For real?

Ummm ya for real.

What’s with you today? Good thing you’re so pretty!

Well, thanks. But I still don’t know who this is.

Really? Come on, you do!

No, but I guess it’s someone who loves me?

Loves you? No, but I’d fuck you! *Huge laughing by other women in the background*

Ah, well, okay then.

Naw, I’m just fuckin’ with ya! Seriously, you coming over?

I don’t think I am since I still have no freakin’ clue who this is.

Jesus girl, what’s with you today?

I’m crazy I guess. Still don’t know who this is.

This IS Britney right?

Britney? You’re looking for someone named Britney?

Yes. And this IS Britney right?

Nope.

You’re kidding? This ISN’T Britney?

That’s correct.

Oh geez, I have the wrong number!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya think?

*Click*

My husband asks what that was all about, so I relay the conversation to him. He was upset because he NEVER gets those kind of wrong numbers and wanted to know if her number came up on my cell phone and maybe we should give her a call later. Maybe she’s cute and into orgies. Sure honey, sure.

Posted by Sassy @ 11:53 amRing-a-ding..wrong number AGAIN7 comments  






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