Oh My Gawd Sodagirl!

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November 28, 2007

I’m not Perez Hilton.


A couple of Sassy haters commenters at my new job site, told me today that I should stop trying to be Perez Hilton. I wasn’t aware that I was trying to be an overweight, blue haired man, but gosh, thanks for putting me in check. Plus he’s got a penis (I’m assuming) and I don’t (fact). As well, we all know that Perez is such a great writer and oh so funny. That’s sarcasm incase you missed it, by the way (they didn’t get it, so I’m helping them out). I, apparently, am not allowed to use sarcasm, because, I guess Hilton invented it? Ya okay. I’m older than PH, so if anyone invented sarcasm, it was me.

I get such a kick out of people who get all bent outta shape about celeb sites. They get all defensive and act like they actually know the celebrity and take it personally. I get paid to write about celebs and if I feel like making fun of them, well guess what? I’m gonna do it. To date, I’ve been called a retard, incompetent, a woman who MUST be married to a black man (still trying to figure out what that’s supposed to mean), been told I should marry Paul McCartney if I love him so much (um, nope I don’t), been SCREAMED AT (you know, hollered at with caps on) for being a “Britney hater,” told to stop being so mean to Celine Dion’s son because he has long hair-that’s all I said, was that he has long hair and my own son has long hair and gets called a girl all the time, so bite me.

I’ve been told I suck, I’m a loser and now, I need to stop trying to be Perez. My heart aches, oh yes, for real. And by my heart aches, I say bring it. I could care less, what you think of me because quite honestly, you don’t know me. I will say that I’ve received MANY nice comments, telling me how witty I am and those people are obviously the smart ones. Very smart. Call me, we’ll do lunch. So to the people who like to trash me and my stories. Yawn.

In other, exciting news, is it the new year yet? I feel like I’ve been in the Christmas time warp because we’ve done everything so early this year. Our tree is up, shopping done and wrapped and under the tree, and since I don’t do any holiday baking, that’s just one more thing I don’t have to do. And yet, it’s not even quite December and I’m wondering if Christmas is over. I may start a holiday countdown or something. Wait. Nah, that’s too much work. I got things I have to get done, like not being Perez Hilton.

Posted by Sassy @ 9:26 pmUncategorized6 comments  

April 1, 2007

Rent doesn’t live here anymore.


Oh ya baby, I’m a home owner now! I’ll expect now that I’ve given you the good news, that you will be planning my party. You know, the one that I thought you were throwing for me a few days ago but didn’t happen. Remember? The party where you ship me precious gems, cash or other fabulous prizes. Come on, you know you remember. Right? I’ll give you a few minutes to wrack your brains.

So the month of April will be our last month of paying rent and making someone else’s mortgage payment. Booh-yaaaah. Now we’ll be paying our own and although it’s hard parting with hubby’s my money, at least it’s going towards something with my name on it. We have been moving stuff in this weekend and will continue to do so over April and will move in sometime near the end of the month. I’m not sure exactly what date, it’ll just depend on how things go (and ah, how many of you come to help me, geez). We have to go over today and do some things and I spent the day cleaning the house yesterday. I’m not a fan of dog hairs in my cabinets or leftover mac and cheese on my stove, so that stuff had to go.

I do have some kind of sinus issue going on now too. I think it’s because of the previous owner’s dog. I like dogs but I can’t be in a home that has too much dog hair floating around in carpets, balled up in corners and generally laying all over the place. I could barely breath in the house yesterday and it’s been many many years since my allergies have surfaced, so lucky for me they’re back. And by lucky, I don’t really mean lucky. I hope you know that.

Well I’m off to get showered (hopefully with diamonds biatches, get crackin’ and get my shiznat in the mail) and then off to get more house stuff done. Isn’t moving fun? No. Fun is when you punch a clown in the groin.

Posted by Sassy @ 9:57 amUncategorized4 comments  

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